Can you guess what the theme of the latest episode is yet? *Rolf Harris style wobble board*
Of course, duets means partnering up with someone and in high/secondary school, and the majority of duets tend to be love songs or send out a particular message about the participants relationship....Oooh, this is going to get interesting!
Today's episode starts on a low note - Puck's in juvenile detention for driving his mother's car through the front of a - convenience? - shop and hi-jacking the ATM.
The Gleeks are not impressed at Puck's blatant stupidity.
But it's not all glumness! There is a new member - Sam, of the quarterback status and the wide mouth.
He makes a joke concerning his name and the infamous Dr Seuss book 'Green Eggs and Ham'.
Anyone who knows this book knows what the joke must've gone like.
Not the Gleeks though.
My soul sighs: The Gleeks just don't give a damn about this Sam who does not like Green Eggs and Ham.
While Will waffles on about the philosophical aspect of duets, and comparing a good duet to a good marriage (LOL! Really Will?) Kurt whispers to Mercedes that Sam is on 'Team Gay' because he suspects Sam's hair colour to be a dye job.
So Will announces that they will be doing duets (no duh) but as an extra incentive for them to work harder, he's giving the two winners a free meal at Breadsticks.
The Gleeks are incredibly excited. I'm amused.
Mercedes asks Kurt who he's going to sing with. Hmm, I wonder...
I totally didn't see this coming!
After 'personally welcoming' Sam to the Glee club, Kurt tells him to 'fess up about his dye job, but Sam denies dying his hair. Sam attempts to leave because Kurts is creeping him out with his overwhelming persistence.
To "make it up" to Sam, Kurt says that he will be his duet partner, as Kurt would be Sam's most likely way of winning the competition. Finn notices this conversation in passing and looks concerned.
Yes, that is Santana and Brittany making out.
Brittany: Sweet Lady kisses.
It's been heavily implied throughout the series but finally the dreams of various Brittana obsessed people have finally come true. Brittany suggests they do a duet together but Santana isn't interested, saying she's only over because Puck is currently unavailable.
Santana has another target in mind for her duet.
Yep, that is Mercedes (damn, this episode is helluva full of surprises!) Even though they can't stand each other and Santana puts weird stuff in Mercedes' food when she's not looking, Santana has decided they're each other's best bet for achieving Breadstick Nirvana, where they're not allowed to stop giving you bread sticks, even if you turn up with a wheelbarrow.
So that's that decided.
Elsewhere, Finn is confronting Kurt about what making Sam sing with him will do to Sam's reputation - the words 'painting' 'bullseye' and 'on his back' are mentioned.
Kurt claims that Finn is only acting this way because of his homophobic feelings shown through his dropping of the 'f' bomb all over the place last season but Finn denied homophobia - he doesn't dislike Kurt being gay, he dislikes Kurt's inability to realise that no means no. Point of reference? Kurt's constant obsession with Finn last season went so far that he manipulated their parents moving in together. Eek.
He also points out that Kurt is being selfish because singing with Kurt is going to affect Sam so seriously that he'll have to quit Glee club, ruining any chances they have at Nationals.
In rehearsal, Finn and Rachel break out a killer version of Elton John and Kiki Dee’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart" and Finn? OMG Finn was just so good in his part.
|Okay, it looks a little like he's breaking her hand here...|
I was slain.
I did not want his little heart to get broke.
So, they were amazing.
But, a little too amazing for Rachel's taste.
Yeah, I know, I had to scrape my jaw off the floor too.
Rachel's determined to be unselfish and kind for real now.
So she's decided they're going to throw the competition and organise it so that Sam wins, so that his confidence is boosted, the faith of the other Gleeks in Sam is increased, thus he stays in Glee and they get to Nationals.
Finn is momentarily distracted by the potential loss of eternal bread stick-dom.
But he's eventually impressed by Rachel's selfless thinking for a bit.
Finn: "But, technically, you're doing this because it'll help us win Nationals which means there's something in it for you so it doesn't really count as you doing something nice."Rachel: Okay, I'm gonna ignore what you just said.
Tina is trying to convince Mike to sing as her partner (since they're dating, I guess she assumed that's what would automatically happen) but Mike points out that he's a dancer, not a singer. Like, at all.
However, Tina is determined to win a proper date - she's sick of eating dim sum with Mike's mum because apparently, that's all they ever do. She says that like it's a bad thing! But then again, she also wants to eat extensive amounts of salad at BreadSticks - salad that doesn't have chicken feet in it. Hmm. She tells him he's not thinking about her needs and apparently they've been fighting a lot.
Mike: We should go to Asian couples therapy.
Tina: Why does the couples therapy have to be Asian?
I think that scenario is supposed to be paralleled with this one:
Brittany is (literally) eyeing up Artie as her next partner, since Santana bailed. I'm not sure as a duet partner or something else, but Artie's looking pretty vulnerable right now.
Brittany: I'm really into you.
Artie: I'm sorry, I'm a little confused. You've never even made eye contact with me.
Brittany: I know. For a while, I thought you were a robot
Okay, so she means boyfriend, because she likes the idea of wheeling Artie around. Methinks he's down with that.
|Santana looks on in disbelief..|
|But Brittany clearly indicates they're no more|
Sam doesn't get it - When Finn persuaded him to join Glee Club, he told Sam that getting to Nationals in New York would increase their popularity to incredible levels, and now he's implying it will be the death of Sam('s social life)?
Sam: I didn't realise you had a problem with gay dudes.
Finn: Look, I don't have a problem with gay dudes - everyone else does. And we're living in their world and in their world, you singing a duet with Kurt is a death sentence.
However, Sam gave his word to Kurt that they'd sing together so, for him, that's the end of that discussion.
Well, until he steps out into the hall and is promptly slushied in the face by our two least favourite sportsmen.
A passing Quinn sees what happens and sympathises while she helps Sam rinse it out in the loos/bathroom.
Quinn: The blueberry favour is the worst. Especially if it gets down your pants - I looked like a creature out of Avatar down there when I got slushied.
Sam: I saw Avatar, like, 6 times *looks at Quinn in a heart stopping manner*
Quinn....oh! Anyway. You'll get used to it.
Sam: Why do you actually bother? I mean, you don't need Glee club
Quinn: I like to sing. And..the fact is, those guys were pretty cool to me last year when I wasn't on top. What's the point of being popular if you can't do what you want?
Sam: Lora Menari.
Quinn: *blinks in confusion*
Sam: It means 'You have pretty eyes'...It's Na'vi?...The Avatar language? Lora Menari.
And that's how the scene ends *anguished*
Kurt's Dad is back home, so Kurt is mollycoddling him with healthy vegan, salt-free (argh!) soup
Kurt won't even let his dad get up from the couch, saying that the serious heart attack means he has to rest until his stress test.
Burt Hummel: You're my stress test.
Burt asks Kurt how school's going and Kurt tells him about the Finn and Sam situation, including Sam's indeterminable sexuality. (This is because he was not in the bathroom where the blue, Na'vi sparks started flying). Burt says that maybe Finn has a point, and Finn is incredulous that his dad is taking Finn's side after the 'f' bomb was thrown all over their basement.
However, Burt has hat a chat with Finn's mum and points out that Kurt wasn't exactly a saint with blatant attraction to Finn and his actions worthy of a Swimfan sequel.
Kurt: Oh, I see, a gay guy can't be friendly to a straight guy without it being predatory!
Dude, you moved him into your house. The guys on To Catch A Predator never even got that far.
Burt points out that nost teenage boys are extremely bad at dealing with unwanted advances. Kurt's frustrated: His dad said that no-one pushes the homos around! Burt gently points out that in this case....maybe it's Kurt doing the pushing around and trying to take advantage of Sam because he's interested in him.
|*Cockney voice* Who's Kurt's Daddy??|
Burt says he wants those freedoms for his son as well but that until he find someone worthy, he's going to have to get used to flying solo.
Gleek Headquarters and Santana and Mercedes are literally letting it rip with their version of Ike and Tina's 'River Deep, Mountain High'. They take the words 'sassy' and 'fierce' and make a new one of fiersy, because it's AMAZING! Butts are shaken, stuff is strutted, hair is swung and swished and I have to say, this is probably my favourite Glee performance so far!
So, Sam is having a shower.
|He's like, half naked in 80% of his scenes so far!|
And yes, Kurt is talking to him in the shower. Could it get any more awkward?
Kurt: Don't worry, I'm not going to get all Shawkshank on you.
... Okay, yes, it could.
Kurt's basically there to 'release' Sam from having to duet with Kurt, assuring Sam that it's not him, it's Kurt - he just needs to duet with someone equally as talented as himself. When Sam asks who that it exactly, Kurt just retorts that they make special shampoo for colour treated hair and sashays away.
Rachel is freaking out at how to throw the competition efficeintly because they're just too damn good (iLoled). They need to do a bad song. And not just a bad song. An offensive song
So who exactly has Kurt decided is good enough to sing with him? Why, himself, of course! He performs 'Le Jazz Hot' from 'Victor Victoria', wearing a double sided suit to symbolise his exploration of both the feminine and masculine sides (I think).
Sam and Quinn are in a science room to practise and Sam starts on about the planet model above them.
Sam: I love astronomy. All that space makes my problems seems so smaller. That's Venus. The planet of love.
Quinn: It's actually Mars. The planet of war.
Sam: Which one are we on?
Quinn: Earth. Now why don't you come back to it and talk to me about duets. Tell me why I should be singing with you?
Didja hear that explosion? That was the noise of Sam getting. shot. down.
He pulls out his guitar, so that they can work on their choreography. Quinn's supposed to stand behind Sam and hold his hips.
She defers in favour of his shoulders.
Whilst teaching her how to play the guitar simultaneously with him, Sam moves in for the kill...
Quinn doesn't react well, pulling away before anything actually goes down. She's got too much on her plate, trying to keep Santana at arms length regarding cheer leading and to sort out her head after last years shenanigans has made her decide to focus on herself and she flees both from an apologetic Sam, their duet and her feelings for him.
Though it takes them a while, Mike and Tina perform an incredibly appropriate and beautifully engaging version of A Chorus Line's 'Sing'. The choreography is incredibly well done and Harry Shum gets to bust a move once more.
Though the quality isn't great, you get the gist!
Sam is the the gym (seriously. Why not the canteen? Does this boy never eat?!) when Finn approaches him, having heard about the incident. At the same time, Rachel steps up to Quinn in the girls toilets/bathroom. Rachel and Finn succeed in their mission to persuade the other by aggravating Quinn's competitive streak and Sam's desire to fit in.
So Quinn and Sam are back in the game!
And thus, The New Directions may still be in the running for Nationals!
Earlier on in the episode, Tina asked Artie to be her duet partner because of Mike's reluctance to sing but he rejected her offer. That, combined with Mike and Tina's performance and Brittany's inability to do runs like Tina did has Artie and his plastic keyboard feeling morose.
He admits to Brittany that he thinks he's still not over Tina yet, but as he goes to leave, Brittany offers him a way to get over Tina...
That involves her carrying him out of his wheelchair and laying him on her bed
Artie: Wait...am I about to lose my viriginity?
Brittany: Before our duet...we're gonna do it.
Unfortunately, The Wonder Thing and I misheard her and thought she said 'Before I do it...We're gonna do it' at which he exclaimed in ire : "That doesn't even make sense!"
Because of this outburst, and trying to decipher Brittany's mystical meanings, I wasn't really listening to Finn and Rachel's version of Billy Preston and Syreeta’s "With You I'm Born Again” and didn't realise it was a love song, nor understand why Rachel was dressed in the kind of nun/Catholic school girl outfits they sell at the dodgy fancy dress shop or Finn as - wait, is that a dog collar?
Oh. So they're dressed as member of the Catholic church and singing about doing some knee trembling actions.
Aahhhh! Now I get why Will was so offended and Quinn (as a member of that particular denomination) wanted to punch them in the face!
After that - uh, disturbing display, it's Sam and Quinn's turn. Sam preens at his partner. Kurt looks down at his (tailored) trousers glumly.
They do their version of Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat’s 'Lucky'. Santana sums it up perfectly when she says:
Santana: So frickin' charming.
No, seriously, it's just sooo cute! ^.^ But more on that later.
Artie breaks up with Brittany because Santana told him that Brittany was just using him for sex, even though Brittany was so looking forward to going to Bread Sticks with Artie, she practised her Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene. But Artie's hurt - for him, sex is something special because it was something they didn't think he'd be able to do after the accident.
So, Will pulls out the results of the winners of the free meal at Bread Sticks. Unsurprisingly, everyone has voted for themselves. Apart from Finn and Rachel, and really that's all they needed to do, instead of dressing up as a Nun of the Night and a priest, but it wouldn't have been half as interesting.
And the winners are: Sam and Quinn!
What, you're not surprised?
Yeah, neither am I really, but you know, I gotta built up the tension somehow.
As Santana freaks out over not having access to all the bread sticks she can eat for free, and Sam and Quinn jubilate, Rachel notices someone looking rather down.
So she tracks Kurt down in the hallway.
Rachel: I need to talk to you about something.
Kurt: Oh, please not another pregnancy.
Rachel: You know, I think you and I are a lot more alike than you think.
Kurt: *looks at Rachel* That's a terrible thing to say.
Using her amazing Rachel skills, she manages to ignore his blatant criticism and disdain and tells him that she understands his loneliness and couldn't even begin to understand his situation, but also assures him that they'll win Nationals because of him and reminds him that the rest of the Gleeks love him just the way he is.
Altogether now: D'aw!
So even though the competition is over, she offers to do a duet with him, just for kicks, and reassures him that the song is one that they'll both love.
Sam: Must be hard. I mean, I think if I went through what you went through last year, I would've..transferred to a school on the moon or something out of embarrassment -
Sam: Okay, that, that didn't come out right, I mean, you're really brave to come back like you have.
I don't judge you or anything. I know what it's like to have a secret that you're ashamed of.
Quinn: *laughs* Oh - oh my god, so you are gay?She tucks the vouchers Will gave them in her bag, because she says that a gentleman always pays on the first date. Ooooh!
Sam: W-What? No. Not at all.When I found out I was moving here, I wanted to seem cool, you know? I figured if I looked like Swayze in, like, Point Break, everyone'd think I was a surfer or something. I didn't think that through very clearly. So...I put lemon juice in my hair.
And I would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for Kurt's sixth sense.
Quinn: I think it looks cute.
Behind them, Brittany isn't letting her practise go to waste.
Rachel and Kurt finish off the episode with a soaring and simply amazing version of Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand's 'Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy'
And you know what?
I just -
I love it!
I liked, nay, LOVED the duets theme - it was a nice excuse to explore the relationships in the Gleek club and gave us that Santana/Mercedes whopper which I still can't get over.
The Artie and Brittany situation made me sad - though it was a nice change to have a dude worrying about sex, I was sad that it was Artie.
I can actually say I really liked this episode. It felt refreshing after the constant angst-itis of the last couple of weeks, though I still worry for Kurt *le sigh*Re the new character Sam? Aw, he's so damn cute and dorky! A thousand teen girls worldwide have just ripped a Taylor Lautner/Robert Pattinson poster off their wall to make space for a new idol. I heard that he was originally supposed to be Kurt's new boyfriend, but they switched it up to Quinn when they saw the chemistry they had. And you can see it in this episode. Every time he looks at her, I take out a handkerchief and start mopping my brow, and fanning myself, thinking I shouldn't be looking in on this situation. Oh, it's too much! Maybe this is why people read romance novels .But anyway! The chemistry is electric and they're simply adorable.
|The fans wish he smiled at them like this...|
|Was close to them like this....|
|Sang to them like this....|
|Ate dinner with...actually, wouldn't that put you off?|