Around this time of the year, my most terrible (hair-related) condition kicks in:
Hair Dysmorphic Disorder is anxiety based on:
- The mistaken idea that your hair is longer/shorter or bigger/smaller than it is.
- An unrealistic perception of your hair's current state.
- A distorted view of what your hair is actually like.
-Watching too many blasted Youtube videos at a time
Symptoms may include (but are not limited to)
Excessively switching up your routine every two weeks as the last one clearly wasn't working because your hair absolutely, most definitely has NOT grown since you last measured it two seconds ago ....
But I just ate some veggies now and they're s'posed to be good for GROWTH! Why am I still at this length?!
Spending a long time and a lot of money trying to cover up what you think is wrong with your hair - if you can't pay the bills but you can buy that fancy 130% guaranteed growth oil, and you spend half your life upside down and nauseous for the sake of growth then you may be suffering from hair dysmorphic disorder!
Constantly comparing your hair to other people's on the internet and thus losing all sense of perception. (Please read An Inch is an Inch for an idea of what this loss of perception looks like. Also, beware of Small Girls with Big Hair, and also petite ladies who seemingly have 3 inches between their shoulders and their waistline compared to your 14 inches.)
The hair on the small girl has literally been copied and pasted on the bigger girl. Promise.
Constant incredulity at the difference between the 'growth' of your hair and someone else's - "How come her hair is growing so fast?? Mine doesn't grow. My hair is broken/useless/not as great." etc etc
Ma'am! Have a seat. Her hair was already longer to begin with.
Thisoften results in a sense of dissatisfaction, distress, and a lack of remembering how awesome your hair actually is.
Post inspired (especially the last point) by this picture and then this picture. How'm I gonna be this old and can't tell the difference between mebbe Armpit Length and definitely Waist Length??Mess...😅😂
about 1/4 cup (60ml) of freshly boiled rosemary tea (rosemary leaves + hot water - DONE)
2 teaspoons of guar gum.
Experimenting down to my very bones, I started off by throwing everything except the guar gum and rosemary tea in a bowl and smashing them together with my electric whisk.
So I just kept adding guar gum and rosemary tea in turn until it all sort of came together and stopped looking like it was on the verge of separation.
My deep conditioner ended up having an interesting moulding dough texture (too much guar gum?)
but it slid on my hair smoover than a 90s R'n'B love song.
Aaaaall my liiiiiife....been waiting for someone like yooooou
Bantu knots were the stretch keeper of the day and they were all covered with a plastic cap and then submerged under with an impromptu head wrap before wandering around for a while.
In public or just in my house? Youdeciiide...
Came back and uncovered everything. I'd expected the DC to have hardened but it was still liquidy and soft.
I rinsed it out easily with warm water and there was some exceptional slip thanks to the guar gum. I bantu knotted again (SERIOUSLY. WHY HAVE I NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE?!) and smothered my hair in a T-shirt to dry/be less wet.
What to do next? Well, I'd seen this video on facebook...
And I thought to myself, yeah, nah, I don't know where to find chébé seeds (a gluten free brand just comes up - okay, okay so I did try to find it - LOL! 😂) but I found the slathering action of the concoction really soothing and reasoned it was just really well protected with heavy protected then braided. I do that anyway without the heavy product. And when it's the first of July, but the coconut oil looks like this:
Solid as a rock!
Then maybe my hair needs a little bit heavy duty protection.
So I left on Alikays Lemongrass leave in, and then added my butterful delight from Almocado - the Twist and Twirl cream. It's a water based butter cream and I think I may be in love. But more on that later.
I went in with the butter on the ends - as in, no subtlety here please, I want - no, need - to believe it is buttered.
'Cept even MORE generous!
My hair went from this on the ends:
With Alikay Naturals Lemon Grass Leave In
Aaand finally, with Almocado Twist and Twirl Buttercream! I choose this area to show the different squiggles on my head too - although it made a significant difference on the right, I don't think it made any on the left.
And then I braided it. I did have some obvious residue because I've never used so much before (and a little of this stuff normally goes a loooooong way for me) but, like I said, I was inspired by the women of Chad for some extra protection against our British summertime weather™. I popped a scarf on it then bed.
This morning, some of the plaits still had white stuff but by the end of the day, it was all gone.
I'm hoping that the extra butter layer helps with moisture and keeping my ends feeling nourished. We'll see how that goes.
I mean, I'm just like....I better not wake up tomorrow with some crispy hair.