Friday, 14 July 2017

Is this...Hair Dysmorphic Disorder?

Around this time of the year, my most terrible (hair-related) condition kicks in:

Hair Dysmorphic Disorder is anxiety based on:
- The mistaken idea that your hair is longer/shorter or bigger/smaller than it is.
- An unrealistic perception of your hair's current state.
- A distorted view of what your hair is actually like.
-Watching too many blasted Youtube videos at a time

Symptoms may include (but are not limited to)

  • Excessively switching up your routine every two weeks as the last one clearly wasn't working because your hair absolutely, most definitely has NOT grown since you last measured it two seconds ago ....

But I just ate some veggies now and they're s'posed to be good for GROWTH!
Why am I still at this length?!
  • Spending a long time and a lot of money trying to cover up what you think is wrong with your hair - if you can't pay the bills but you can buy that fancy 130% guaranteed growth oil, and you spend half your life upside down and nauseous for the sake of growth then you may be suffering from hair dysmorphic disorder!
  • Constantly comparing your hair to other people's on the internet and thus losing all sense of perception. (Please read An Inch is an Inch for an idea of what this loss of perception looks like. Also, beware of Small Girls with Big Hair, and also petite ladies who seemingly have 3 inches between their shoulders and their waistline compared to your 14 inches.)
The hair on the small girl has literally been copied and pasted on the bigger girl. Promise. 
  • Constant incredulity at the difference between the 'growth' of your hair and someone else's - "How come her hair is growing so fast?? Mine doesn't grow. My hair is broken/useless/not as great." etc etc 
Ma'am! Have a seat. Her hair was already longer to begin with.

This often results in a sense of dissatisfaction, distress, and a lack of remembering how awesome your hair actually is.

Post inspired (especially the last point) by this picture and  then this picture.
How'm I gonna be this old and can't tell the difference between mebbe Armpit Length and definitely Waist Length??Mess...

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