If there's anything more depressing that comparing your progress against other, it's comparing your progress against yourself and finding yourself wanting. My ponytail in mini-twists in October was the exact same length as in January/February.
I have pieces in the front of my head that I'm still pinning up because they won't reach into my ponytail. Two years later and they still won't reach into the blasted ponytail!
This is not a setback. It's something that I've been ignorant of but it's been happening for a while.
When it comes to giving myself reasons why I'm not making leaps and bounds in all my hair-related incidents, please trust that I am always the person in the front of the queue.
I've told myself that:
- I'm tall (5' 11.5"), so it'll take me longer than other people to hit certain points.
- My fine hair means that splits and trims are inevitable.
- Half an inch isn't that big! Patience, grasshopper.
- Health over length, after all.
- Shrinkage is so deceiving.
- You dyed your hair and it all broke off, so if that's not a major setback....
- Maybe I'm a slow grower, eh? It happens!
But I know I'm not a slow grower. My hair colour from last year has near enough completely grown out. If the ends of my hair had made the same progress, I would not be writing this (extremely whiny) post. My hair is growing - it just bloody well isn't staying there.
I don't sound right when I say 'y'all' and 'ain't' and 'in this game' (yeah, I didn't include those bits...)
You see, I'd taken out one of my twists out and tugged at my hair and it ended waaaay earlier than it should have been.So I went out and searched for a measuring tape, came home and confirmed it.
This is a problem. Mainly because that nape section always retained length well, even back in the beginning when I had no idea what to do with the rest of my hair. But now I think it's breaking the most, because at the rate it retained back in the day, it should steadily be on its way to BSL.
It's not even APL. Heck, it's barely shoulder length reaching my collar bone!
|Look familiar? This is me 17/10/2012.
And this is me 31/12/2011.
Aaand on the 1/1/2011.
I don't know what's happening but when I started this blog, it was not after just having cut off all my hair. And that was more than two years ago. 2 years = around 12 inches, no? I'm not even there!!
I know some people think length checks are stupid and unhelpful but when you realise that in two years, you have retained -1 inches (not even an exaggeration), would you say that hair was healthy? That everything's okay? And that's with me only length checking every year, which may be why it's taken me so long to establish a pattern and realise there is a problem.
In my panic, I started googling furiously, but the only thing that seemed to come up was that other ladies with fine hair like me who weren't plateauing were using henna.
I actually looked into it, remembered the mess (rented apartment, y'all), time and faff...eurgh.
Nope. But it does mean that as of now, I'm back on the Cassia. Part of my game plan and all that.