Tuesday 24 August 2010

Homies, why do we have a problem?

I was reading the Natural Haven a couple of minutes ago, and her latest post made me think about this weekend.
In her post, she says:
"The top benefit of wearing your natural hair 100% of the time is beyond the physical experience but rather a mental one. You have to love
the person in the mirror and you have to see her as beautiful (failure is not an option if you want to be happy with your self image).

It is a life altering experience
to know that your beauty does not rely on what others tell you but rather what you see. This has been my experience and I can confidently say that yes I am cute all day, every day."

I come from a culture where the way you act, reflects upon your family. Therefore, the way you dress may also reflect negatively upon your relatives. And now it looks like how wearing my hair is affecting my family as well!
Most Nigerians - heck, most Africans I know - wear some sort of weave or extensions. And I am not against that. No, seriously, I'm not a natural hair police woman, giving out sentences if you decide to do something to your hair that I don't. I doesn't affect me personally, so I'm not really
In another post, I talked about some weddings and the reaction my hair garnered.

Apparently, my mum received some phone calls from some concerned Aunties asking what exactly was going on with my hair.
And it made me think "Whoa. Hold on a second. What's exactly is your business with my hair?"

Unfortunately, I was not made aware of when my hair was made public domain.
But it seems that a lot of woman, when they switch it up dramatically, like the length, the cut, the colour, have unwarranted negative comments come their way. "Oh I liked it better before" "Oh, why did you do that? You used to have such good hair!"
Whoa! Since these people are commenting on your hair and passing judgement, maybe it really belongs to them, and they were just lending it to you!

Here's news for you: It's not theirs. It's not on their head. Therefore, it's not their ish.

It gets me that some people actually thought that my hair was a cause for concern.

Let me repeat that:
The issue is that my hair isn't relaxed
Not that I am not currently suffering from any societal problems that we see in the news.
Nope. I'm not driving my parents around the wall with my juvenile antics.
No. None of that. Just my hair. I know I have some mashed up hair days, but I'm still in the process of learning. I like wearing the hair growing out of my scalp. I don't want to use relaxers on it. Nor am I fond of wearing someone else's hair on my head (no hate to the real hair wearers).
Why is that so hard to understand? Why is that mentality seen as so strange?!

In this day and age, we campaign against putting animals in small boxes, but why do still insist on doing this to people? Eurgh, so-called common sense, I wash my hands of you!


  1. lol love the conan pic

    I have to say that seriously when it comes to natural hair, many Nigerians live on another planet. Seriously I have received similar comments from people who I could not give two you know whats about.

    You have the right attitude, sometimes your hair will be mashed up but with time you will learn how to handle it. Hiding it away because someone else wants you to be embarrassed is not the way forward.

    Stay strong, keep your resolve!

  2. I know. It's so odd! My mum doesn't understand why I'm natural, but want it 'out'. Why don't I loc it? Or wear a weave? It will still grow! It's crazy. And it's always Nigerians!

    Thank you so much for your support and advice on your site! I made my little sister read it too ^_^


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