Friday 1 January 2016

Resolutions - loading...

Self -care is hard.
The amount of time it takes to look after yourself seems preposterous:
I have to spend how long in the shower?
How many exactly of my teeth do I have to brush?
Breakfast too?
And I hafta do this every day??

I...can't take this!

There's definitely a scale of self-care time and different people feel comfortable at different points along this imaginary scale. For example, teenage me thought doing her feet once a week was a luxurious necessity. Now, I don't even want to talk about it.

Starting to care for myself was easy - so easy.

Keeping it up, in order to make it a lifelong habit was hard - so. dang. hard! I ran out of bamboo tea and then spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about whether I should repurchase enough
I ran out of Vitamin D and somehow talked myself into thinking that it was too expensive, too much of a bother, well the days will start getting longer now so I shouldn't repurchase and should just wait it out.
I started second guessing my commitment to look after myself.

I started spending my weekends looking after other people instead of making sure I had enough vegetables in the house to give me the vitamins and minerals I needed.

There was, for me, a huge difference between purposeful resting and not having the energy to do anything. I did a lot of one, whilst telling myself it was the other, but the proof was in the pudding - in the apathy I started to feel towards many areas of life. I love food and cooking but eating pizza for dinner twice and breakfast?

Looking at my original self-care post, I expected to be hugely disappointed. But actually, the things I'd said were part of my personal philosophy, so I've made a start:

Cleansing my face once everyday - I don't want to talk about it. But no wonder my hyperpigmentation is still rife and a big part of my life.

Experience based treats - check! Kinda...I've been doing well on the crafting front, lame-o on the relaxing and pampering front. Balance, yo.

Eco-friendly teeth cleaning options - I've been thinking about this for ages. At the moment, I'm using Lush's Atomic Tooth Powder to clean my teeth.
I still have a plastic toothbrush because I had to buy one in an an emergency and there aren't any options around me I like. Still looking into reliable chewing sticks.

Give myself enough time to make what I need - I've done really, really well on this body moisturiser wise. Now to do the same hair- and health-wise!

Simplifying my stuff:

Getting rid of stuff I don't need - Minimalism has been on my mind for a while, so that's done a great job of spurring me on into giving away clothes, accessories and gifts that were inappropriate for me but could be great for someone else.
The one thing stopping me from going full hog is how much I dislike actual shopping on the high street. Clearly not designed for me, clearly a waste of time. And I'm the slowest seamstress in the world, so handmade clothing takes a while to appear...

Using up my craft stash - Again, slowest seamstress/knitter in the world. It's taking me a while. Lots of projects, loads of ideas - short on time. August was ambitious as heck. Plus...I bought more fabric this year. Can I say by 2020? my defence, the fabric I have been buying has been very purposeful.
I made a baby blanket (quilt since I added wadding?) in a couple of days flat, I'm working on a skirt, and I have big plans for the red fleece in my cupboard.
I can't even be mad at myself over this one, haha!

Stop making excuses for not using things that work - Ahhh, trying to break the habit of a lifetime! I spoke about that (and some lame excuses I make) here. Great at the start - but I never seem to finish. I'm working on it!

Looking at that list and helps me to realise how great the little changes I have actually made make me feel.
 Like millions of other people all around the Western world, I'm back on the wagon with a vengeance. I'll be working to change from red and orange to green lights. Sometime. Eventually.
But it's ongoing, isn't it?

Self-care is so, so, so very hard. But so very worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Yep, self-care is monotonous, but oh so necessary. I'd say you've made a lot of progress on your goals. That getting rid of stuff is on this year! Over the holidays I've gone mad in my house and started purging like crazy. What I've noticed is once you get the ball rolling, it's easier to purge more stuff. Last night I went through the pantry, refrigerator, and freezer. To be continued... :-)


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