However, the other kind of magic struck me over the last two months - a frustratingly broken camera (my techno curse strikes again!), a lack of justice, a loss of hope, disbelief, the suffocating wrap of apathy around my neck. Bleak and cold midwinter clutched at me, as well as an unshakeable sickness.
My reaction?
Desperately throwing myself into my job, telling myself I'm too busy and sad to write on this here blog. Slashing at my internet ties and, in effect, my accountability.
The truth is, if I don't talk to you on here, I can easily go a few weeks not talking to anybody else properly. Plus, my soul was just too tired to talk, when it just seemed so pointless.
Anyway! Christmas, for me at least, proved invigorating and once again stoked those little embers of hope for the future I'd thought had been killed by the grey grimmness of reality. I read the feelings of others and the anger of many and know I was not alone. I crocheted and mixed up and created. I was rejected by potentially the cutest 18 month old in favour of my husband (hands off). Thins were put into perspective.
Idiots non carborundum.
I only have two resolutions really:
Consistent self-care.
You know when people say they let themselves go? Over the last three months, I've REALLY let myself go. It doesn't help that I'm married to possibly the lowest maintenance man in existence. He doesn't even scar when he gets spots, whereas I have scars that are possibly older than Methusalah. I've been using extra virgin olive oil as a body moisturiser, which is fine, but I'm tired of smelling like salad. Also, some days I work 8 to 8 and who wants to exercise at 9 in the evening? Not me!
So I want to:
- Start to cleanse my face once everyday (no, I don't at the moment. Hence, Methusalah's age mates still lingering on my face, playing checkers and heckling runners.)
- Treat myself experience wise - maybe once a week, or once a month. Just regularly enough that it stops me getting run down. Craft, relax, create or just pamper. Products are no fun if you don't take the time to use them properly.
- Continue researching biodegradable / sustainable / eco-friendly teeth cleaning options. Chewing sticks remind me of my grandma, but she did have great teeth, so...
- Give myself enough time to make what I need - no more olive oil body moisturiser! Shea butter only in 2015.
Simplify my stuff.
I have so much rubbish and I've just let it all build up. So I want to:
- Use up my craft hobby stash - all the yarn, fabric and cosmetic ingredients that I don't use on a regular basis to be gone by August.
- I am going to give away or get rid of all the clothes people have given me that I hate and still wear. And then make and/or buy some things I like and will wear with pride.
- Stop making excuses for not using things that work - hate the applicator? Buy a new one. Keep running out of a necessary ingredient? Buy in bulk. I've been cheap for too long, and always try replacing what worked with something else, which just wastes money.Yeah, I'm done with that now. Onwards with what works!
I hope you're having a good day and a lovely week. And happy new year! I hope it is full of joy, love, peace, fluffy things, blessings, warmth and positivity. Oh, and chocolate. Which clearly fits under the umbrella of all of the aforementioned.
